Light at the End of the Tunnel
by BubbleBounce
Summary: Severus is just out of Hogwarts and looking to make his mark on the world and a young wizard wants to take him under his wing. Rated M because they're sinners. Also Rated M for mention of abuse and graphic themes.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Clearly I don't own any of these characters. This is just a poor representation of what goes on in my mind in the middle of the night. Enjoy._

Chapter 1: Arrangement

December 29th, 1978

Severus shivered against the cold and folded his arms across his chest to shield himself from the bitter December air. It was nightfall, with just enough light pooling around a streetlamp that he was able to make out the gravestone marker that read:

Eileen Snape

Born 23-2-1933

Died 2-5-1978

The gravestone held no words of comfort; no well wishes or thoughts of the afterlife. Cold words for a cold woman. Severus brushed a bit of fallen snow off his cloak and wondered how long he had been standing there. His boots crunched softly beneath him as he moved his feet to stay away the stinging chill. He felt the warmth of his life slipping farther and farther away from him, like a candle that's been burned down to the wick. He was never particularly close with his mother, but once she had died he knew there was nothing else for him. Even with all he had accomplished in his years at Hogwarts, none of it came to mind in the drifting, lazy hours of the night; he could only think of what could possibly follow a lifetime of misery.

The sound of Lucius Apparating was muffled by the thick blanket of snow that covered the neglected cemetery, and it only barely registered to Severus that he had company until a warm cloak found its way across his shoulders.

He immediately threw it to the ground, but refused to look Lucius in the eyes. "I don't need your pity," he said bitterly. "Or your charity. Leave me alone."

Only a deep sigh followed, along with Lucius scooping up the cloak and once again throwing it across Severus' gangly shoulders.

"I don't want it!" He bellowed. This time he whirled around to face Lucius, who only pinned the cloak tighter against him as he struggled away from the comfort.

"I don't care what you want. It's what you need," Lucius said with an air of superiority that only Lucius himself could convey. "If you keep standing out here in the night air you'll catch your death."

Severus jerked his head away from him quickly, but kept the cloak on. He had a certain knowing for Lucius and knew that he would get his way eventually. "What do you want with me anyway."

"Your services," Lucius said casually. "You are, as you know, a dead hand at potions. I am rather not. I am proposing that, for a wage, you come and work for me."

"You mean for _them,_ " Severus's voice was barely a whisper. The wind had picked up a bit and pinched at the exposed parts of his face. The cold had now settled down deep into his bones and was beginning to feel the effects of having stayed out so late. His stomach ached, reminding him another day had passed without him taking care of himself, and his head was throbbing with thoughts stewing about in his head. Lucius had been a friend to him during their days in Hogwarts and always treated him with a sliver of dignity, despite Severus's impoverish back ground and blood status. Perhaps his offer would be a reprieve, even if it was serving a less than honorable cause.

Lucius chucked. "I thought you might protest. Might I offer a better wager?" Severus finally lifted his head to meet Lucius's gaze and eyed him cautiously. The older boy was certainly an impressive sight. Silver hair swept carelessly back away from his pale chiseled face, no doubt from a life of privilege. He had on only the finest attire, dragon skin gloves, a velvet lined cloak, and a crisp set of black robes that commanded presence. Severus had never paid very much attention to appearances, but Lucius painted a picture of power, and Severus couldn't help but be drawn to it. "You will live with me. Meals will be provided, all of your ingredients will be provided and you'll have full reign to..." he paused, "experiment."

Severus had barely opened his mouth for his counter, and Lucius put a long arm across his back and pulled him away from his mother's grave. "I know you have your suspicions, but you can consider my work with unsavory characters as more on-the-job hazards than obligation."

They walked across the freshly piled snow. Lucius holding his head up tall and proud while Severus moved with his usual twitchy, spider like movements with his head bent down. Lucius still had his hand on Severus's back, which was making him uncomfortable. He shifted away slightly but Lucius guided him back elegantly, but not without force, letting Severus know who exactly commanded their time together.

By now they were in the street under the gentle light. Severus glanced back at the cemetery which now seemed somehow darker and colder than it had when he first approached it. He then turned to look at Lucius whose hair seemed to glow under the light like a halo. Severus heaved a deep sigh. He knew there was no escaping it, it was bound to happen one way or another. Lucius was here as a friendly gesture, and he knew enough about the unsavory characters to know that their offer would not come so friendly. He didn't want to speak. He knew the work he would be doing for Lucious wouldn't be favorable, but he knew he had little choice. All he had to do was nod and Lucius smiled broadly and placed a hand on Severus's shoulder to Apparate them away


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Tunnel

A month into their arrangement and Severus felt a sprig of fresh vitality. He was doing what he loved to do and Lucius, true to his word, gave him quite a bit of freedom to experiment with different recipes. Also, true to his word, he had very little to do with the comings and goings of Malfoy Manor. Severus had his own bedroom, his own loo, and his own room to work uninterrupted. The only proviso that Lucius insisted on was that they take meals together, which Severus found more than annoying because his dear friend informed him by way of the Malfoy house else, Spink.

Spink was a mousy little thing that jumped whenever Lucius would so much as enter the room, and on the first morning when she came down to fetch Severus for breakfast, she had all but apparated them straight into the dining hall so as not to displease her master. Severus dared not complain about her, as the first time he expressed annoyance at being summoned to meals Lucius punished her by a swift kick to the back of her knees. He made it a point to not cause the house eft any more problems.

The two young men lived, primarily, by themselves. The only exception was, of course, Spink, and various witches and wizards that let themselves into the Manor throughout the days. None of this bothered Severus, he was too busy living in his corner of Lucius's expansive dwellings to notice all that was going on with his employer, and he rather enjoyed being kept out of it.

Severus dutifully kept his working area very organized, and soon the bookshelves were filling up with books that Severus himself had picked out and was currently working through correcting. Bottles of carefully labeled potions soon began consuming the stores of cabinets that lined the walls of his office, and with all that was available to him, Severus was easily able to keep up with the work Lucius demanded of him. Lucius himself only came down on occasion, and always came alone. Sometimes he would ask the odd question, but mostly came down to observe Severus's working techniques. Severus was cautiously optimistic, until one day they had visitors for supper.

Severus had been busying himself cutting up plant roots when he heard a soft knocking at his workshop door. He knew by the tentative nature that it had to be Spink, so he let her in without preamble, but when he opened the door he could tell she was more petrified than usual.

"Master Malfoy is ready for dinner, I suppose?" he drawled.

"Ye-yes mister Snape sir," she stammered in her wispy voice. "Also joining you f-f-for supper are m-m-miss Bellatrix and Narcissa Black." She shrunk back Severus knew she had good reason. Bellatrix was not well known for her kindness, especially towards creatures she deemed beneath witches.

"You stay down here and clean up," he said not without understanding, "and stay out of sight until you are summoned."

"Ye-yes mi-mister Snape s-s-ir."

Severus made his way to the dining wing of Malfoy Manor and only got there in time to be served the precursor evening meal. He greeted his employer and both the women before sitting down. He felt out of place in the giant, overwhelming room. Everything was made to show that the Malfoy's had money. Everything from the crystal chandeliers, to the massive mahogany table, every inch of the room was an expression of taste and refinement. Severus hated it. Lucius was wearing his normal luxurious accessories paired with an equally stunning set of robes, while the sisters wore evening robes fit for royalty. Severus, meanwhile, was wearing the same clothes he wore the day before, and shone the effects of a master of potions. Bellatrix was the first to notice.

"I wonder Severus, if Lucius has you working too hard?" her eyelids were laden with dark makeup that willed a stark contrast for her pale skin. Her dress came off her shoulders pushing a slight bosom that she was, apparently, trying desperately to get Lucius to notice.

Severus started to answer, but was cut off immediately by Lucius himself. "It's nothing Severus can't handle," he said with a smirk, "tell me, Bella, how are your, ahh," he paused as if looking for the right word, "guests doing? Are they quite comfortable?" Lucius seemed to relish in this company. It came so easily to him it was almost maddening. This cool demeanor, the poise of his body, the way his ice blue eyes seemed to light up at the attention. Severus by comparison seemed to slump down in his chair no matter how straight he sat, and his dark eyes darted from person to person.

Bella chucked and Severus shifted uneasily in his seat. "My _guests_ ," she put extra emphasis on the word, "are in fact quite comfortable in their new surroundings." The way Bellatrix smiled made Severus's stomach turn. Narcissa must have noticed his reaction and turned the conversation again.

"My father tells me that your father is not returning to Malfoy Manor this spring Lucius. I hope he's well." Severus noticed a distinct difference in the sisters. As much as Bellatrix looked the eager vixen, Narcissa was far more conservative with a button up gown and heavy pendant perched splendidly on her chest. It was an emblem Severus recognized, but as not to be caught staring at her, quickly averted his eyes.

Lucius dropped his grin slightly and turned to look at Narcissa. "He'll be all right. He's working with the Lestrange family to keep," Severus locked eyes with Lucius for a split second, "everything in order."

Severus barely registered anything else in the conversation. He watched the three of them with indifference and nodded his head every so often. Through the meal his thoughts kept drifting back to the night at his mother's grave. He had not been back since that night and often wondered if anyone had bothered to scrape off the snow or to care for it. He knew his father wouldn't care enough to do it. Since Severus left Hogwarts he had only returned home twice, and both times he was reminded why he was always so hesitant to return.

It wasn't until three pairs of eyes were staring straight at him that Severus managed to pull himself back away from the graveyard and into the dimly lit dining hall. Embarrassed, he excused himself and got up to leave until Lucius stood and said, "quite right Severus, we should continue this conversation in the drawing room. Ladies, if you please?"

Servants appeared to usher them out of the room and to clean up after their meal, and while the sisters and Lucius made their way to have after supper drinks, Severus dodged his way back to his work area and out of sight.

An hour had passed before Severus heard a knock at his door. Lucius rarely visited him this late in the evening, especially when he had been entertaining the Black sisters, one of whom it was rumored that he would be betrothed to, so Severus hastily let him in.

Instead of being greeted by the charming, charismatic Lucius, when Severus opened the door it was apparent Lucius was drunk. Drunk, and furious.

"Did you mean to humiliate me at supper tonight?" he spat. His blue eyes were bloodshot and shone with hatred, his pale sculpted face was red, and his usual cool manner was hostile and threatening.

Severus was a bit shaken at first and opened his mouth to speak, but Lucius cut him off.

"Do you not know how to change your clothes?! Do you not know how to pay attention to a conversation?! Are you that STUPID that you can't make it through a SIMPLE dinner without acting like a worthless, destitute, irreverent CHILD?!" Lucius made no attempt to his acrimony. The words came easily to him and Severus was right back in his father's house, getting reproached for one foolish thing or another. Every time Severus opened his mouth to speak he was cut off by Lucius and suffered another berating. "Could your mother not close her whore legs long enough to teach you how to properly-"

That was all Lucius got out before Severus had enough he shoved him out of the way to collect his belongings and leave. He nearly made it to his bedroom door before Lucius grabbed him by the wrist and whirled him around. Severus struggled and tried to push him away, but Lucius was stronger and held fast. Severus reached for his wand that was lay on the table beside him but Lucius knew what he was doing and stepped in front of him.

Lucius had him pinned against the wall with Severus's arms bound tightly. "Let me go!" Severus hissed. "You don't own me, I'm not one of your slaves!"

Lucius was not letting go. His knee lodged onto Severus's leg so he couldn't move no matter how much he struggled. He had been in this very situation too many times to count. He had hoped that Lucius would be different. He thought that he finally found a friend that cared about him. He thought Lucius would be the end to his depression.

Severus started to panic when Lucius grabbed him by the back of the head. He expected the worst and shut his eyes tight, but instead of hitting him, instead of cursing him, Severus felt Lucius's lips on his. He tried to pull away but Lucius was persistent, unrelenting, and greedy. It was not loving or caring, but rough and forceful. Lucius continued; biting and sucking on Severus's lips until he opened his mouth to protest, and Lucius engulfed him. Severus' thoughts spun around in his head. He didn't want this, but he longed for it. He wanted to yell and scream until his voice gave out, but he didn't want to lose control. He felt his mind being pulled into a thousand different directions. Lucius continued unimpeded until Severus made a half choking, half sobbing sound and he finally pulled away. Severus took the opportunity and dove for his wand, but it was clear Lucius was not going to advance on him again.

Now it was Severus that was furious but before he could curse him he noticed an almost defeated Lucius. He stood not two feet away with tears pooling in his eyes. That made Severus stop in his tracks. As strange as he found Lucius at times, he had never seen the man convey any emotion other than anger and the pristine, calculated confidence he portrayed. This new sentiment scared Severus more than the anger, this was something he had yet to encounter.

After a long, awkward silence, Lucius spoke first, quietly, and with a tremor in his voice. "If you would like to leave," his voice broke slightly and paused again before clearing his throat and continuing. "If you would like to leave, you can. I won't try to stop you, though I do implore you to stay, now that you've been working for me I cannot guarantee others will not try the same. I've… I'm sorry for what happened earlier, I had one brandy too many and forgot that you are my guest."

Severus gaped at the man and calculated his options. On one hand he could stay and be subject to wild, soul crushing mood swings, on the other he could go slinking back to the life he had before; living in the hovel he grew up in, working in a small shop in diagon alley, shuffling day to day just hoping for a break from the monotony that comes with provincial life. He couldn't go back to that. He deserved better. He deserved a chance to prove himself to those that would listen to his prodigious mastery. Lucius was a loose cannon, but so was his father and had never apologized for it. And here was Lucius, obviously repentant over his actions. There was no choice for him really. Either die abandoned and neglected with a stone slab marker, or rise under the wings of greatness. "I'll stay," Severus articulated with confidence, "but from now on I am to be left alone and will not be joining you or your guests for dinner parties. I am here for academics, not to be your grandiose man servant."

Lucius nodded and swept himself out of the cold room, closing the door behind him as he left.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: The Light

The first few weeks that followed were the most tentative. Severus kept to himself in the shyest corner of the Manor, while Lucius left him alone. Meals were delivered directly to his door by way of Spink the house elf, and Severus was quite grateful to be spared the odd conversation with whomever Lucius would be sharing his home with.

News of Severus's quality potion making quickly spread and soon he was taking orders from not only Lucius, but owls were now coming directly to his window, along with a handsome payment. Severus was happy to oblige them and trudged along, often times forgetting what time of the day it was and if it wasn't for Spink's gentle prodding, he would have forgotten to eat as well.

It wasn't until two months had passed since the incident that Severus began to miss company, besides Spink. Just a conversation or seeing another witch or wizard would suffice. It had been three months since seeing his mother's grave and he would like a trip to Diagon Alley. He took up a light cloak and set out for the day.

The street was oddly quiet for such a nice spring day. In mid-March the snow had already begun to melt and Severus could feel the warm sun on his pallid face. He figured the area would be quite a bit busier with witches and wizards bustling about and chatting, but really he could only see a handful of people who shuffled about from store to store, not speaking to one another, no eye contact, and no amount of warmth between them. Severus could have been mistaken, but they looked ...almost afraid.

Severus shrugged it off and got the supplies that he needed, heading down Knockturn alley only to retrieve items on his list that were a bit harder to procure, and set out to the cemetery.

Spring time created a better picture for it. The new grass had not quite come in yet but the trees were budding with new life and he could see a quaint fence surrounding the area. Families had obviously come with more decorations for the deceased and he could see planters with flowers littered about. His mother's grave was still plain. Plain, neglected, forlorn; all the things he could think of his mother while she was alive. He couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt when he looked around and saw the adornment of his surroundings, so he gently set the bags of items on the wet ground and drew out his wand. A few wisps streamed out from the end of it and white flowers appeared before him. Lilies. A symbol of devotion and repentance. He set them down at the marker, whispered a word of goodbye, and picked up his things to Apparate back to Malfoy Manor.

By the time he finished his day of errands it had grown colder in the evening, so when he got home he shivered a bit and longed for his warm bed. He quickly moved through the long corridors, back to his wing, and was surprised when he opened the door.

"Lucius?" Severus jumped when he walked into his workshop. He hadn't seen him for two months, but his expression remained stoic and unyielding, like Severus was more of an inconvenient child than he was a friend. He sat in a chair facing the door, an empty bottle of goblin wine beside him, but no glass in sight.

"Did you run out of supplies so quickly? I thought I had enough for you already here. Was I mistaken?" Lucius trailed his lips with the tip of a pointed finger. Severus couldn't swear by it, but at first glance he thought Lucius was drunk again, and was nervous on how to play out his next words.

"I just wanted some fresh air. I went to Diagon Alley, then to see my mum," he stated cautiously. "I'm sorry, but I didn't think you wouldn't want me to leave."

"No, no," Lucius said with a wave of his hand. "I'm sure however non devoted your mother was to you she was still your mother and you feel some sort of... ahh," he paused as if looking for the right word, "obligation to her. How did she die?" His voice was dispassionate, like someone had flipped another switch and Lucius went from his near hypnotic profile, to one of near blank and illegible.

Severus swallowed hard. He would have given anything to not be in the room at that exact moment. He knew he couldn't trust Lucius and thought out _'legitimens'_ but still he got nothing. Frustrated, Severus set his bags on a spare table in the room and said passively, "she died from pneumonia. It had set in around Christmas time last year and it had eventually taken over. She died in May."

Lucius raised an eyebrow, "I know what she died of, but I'm wondering how she was not able to conquer such an uncomplicated muggle illness. It seems as though she was somehow weakened."

Severus didn't much care for Lucius's condescending tone. His mother was an intelligent witch that settled for mediocrity and chose the muggle life over one of prosperity. "I suppose she gave up," Severus said with a shrug. "My father was cruel to her, and from what I gathered about my grandparents they weren't much better. It's easy to get lost in the tunnel without a light at the end of it."

Lucius snapped his fingers. "That is good. Do you mind if I write that down?" He stood up from his chair and strolled over to Severus. His expression was still unreadable so Severus gripped his wand in his shirt just in case. Lucius noticed and smiled, though it did not quite reach his eyes, "please. All that business is behind me. Really Severus I'm interested in your life." He reached his hands forward and gripped Severus by his upper arms. Severus loosened his grip on his wand and let his grasp slacken.

He felt the same uncomfortable tingle as he had the night Lucius attacked him. He wanted to move away or at least shift himself, something to tell Lucius to back away, but at the same time he longed for the contact. Lucius locked eyes with him with intensity; so much that Severus's face flushed and he needed to turn away, to look at something other than the ice blue eyes that bore into him, into his very soul.

Lucius kept his smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. From this distance Severus could tell that he had been drinking and could smell it on his breath. As Lucius moved closer Severus became more and more distressed and was torn between reaching for his wand and wondering what Lucius would do to him next.

"Do you like this, Severus?" Lucius was inches from Severus now, the heat of his breath was on Severus's cheek as he felt color and warmth flush to his face and a strange sort of pull down in his loins.

"Not particularly." His voice was rattled. He still could not look him in the eye. Did he want it? Or was he so overlooked he just liked the idea of it, whatever _it_ was.

Lucius chuckled softly. "Oh, but I think you do," he moved his arms down to Severus's waist, who gasped at the sudden contact. "I think that if you didn't want it you would have moved away from me and never returned." He pulled Severus closer into an embrace and purred in his ear. "I think your body aches for this."

Severus groaned instinctively. He had never before been touched like this. Even as a child his contact with his parents was limited to a hand on his shoulder, and only in the most grievous of situations. His heart pounded in his head and his arms remained stiffly by his side. Inexperienced, he wasn't sure of what to do. He didn't want to push him away. He didn't want this, but he didn't want it to stop. It felt ...satisfying.

Lucius touched Severus's arms with just his fingertips, guiding them around Lucius's shoulders. "I'll be patient with you at first," he said softly, "but don't expect coaching every time." Lucius slipped his warm hands inside Severus's shirt, making contact with skin for the first time. Severus acclaimed this with a shiver and a flutter of breath. "I like your response."

Severus slammed his eyes shut, he couldn't catch his breath and tried to stop himself as noises escaped from his throat. He tried to stop, but it was all too much. The touching, the sensation, the warmth, the whispering. He felt like there was a fire inside of him and responded to Lucius touch as his hands explored his body. When Lucius kissed his neck, he felt his knees go weak and leaned harder against him. Severus was intoxicated and helpless, even as Lucius pulled away from him he whimpered.

"Do you like this, Severus?" He asked again, this time with an air of humor in his voice, all the while unbuttoning the shirt Severus wore and casting it to the side.

"Please, Lucius," Severus begged.

Lucius smiled a genuine smile. "Please what?" He asked as he moved around behind Severus and running his hands up the smaller man's body. "Do you want me to continue?"

Severus bit his lip. His skin still burned red hot from where Lucius lips had laid, the sensation was almost too much, but he found himself choking out, "yes."

Lucius guided him to the bedroom, and rocked him gently onto the bed. Severus could only watch as Lucius removed his own clothing, down to his underpants, and slid on top of Severus easily. A thin finger at Severus's chin maneuvered his face up towards Lucius, and blue eyes met black for just a second before Lucius plunged his mouth towards Severus. He kissed his mouth, his neck, his wrists, his chest and his abdomen, never stopping for Severus to breath or to register the moment. This was nothing like the first time they kissed. The first time was violent, and forceful, and it hurt. This was like lightning was shooting through Severus.

Lucius toyed with him, alternating nibbling on his skin then soothing it away with an experienced tongue. "Is this your first time?" He cooed.

Severus wasn't there. His body was there but his mind was gone. It had left when Lucius crawled on top of him and he felt the weight of his form pressing against him. He could have sworn he articulated something to the idea of yes, but couldn't be sure. In his ecstasy, he hadn't noticed Lucius removing his trousers and leaving him exposed, or that Lucius himself had undressed completely. He could barely hear anything Lucius was saying over the pounding of his heart in his ears. Wave after wave of pleasure wracked through Severus's small body, swaddling him in warmth he so desperately desired. Every kiss, every touch was something new. He was brought back when Lucius pulled away and said something inaudible.

"Hmm?" Severus asked.

"I said if this is your first time it's going to hurt. Prepare yourself." And Lucius did not lie.

Severus woke up the next morning in a fog. The morning light shone brightly onto his bed and for a moment he laid there looking at the specks of dust floating in the gleaming rays. He tried to sit up but his body screamed in protest and flashes of the night before came back to him. He laid back and a light smile brushed his lips.

"How are you this morning?" A voice asked him from the opposite end of the bed.

One look at Lucius and Severus realized they were both still naked, wrapped up only in the bedsheets scattered about the bed. His face turned a glorious shade of scarlet and rushed to cover his indecency, but Lucius only scooped him up in his long arms and pulled him close.

Severus didn't know what to do at this point. His head was on Lucius's chest and his arms wrapped around him delicately, gently tracing his fingers up and down his bare back with one hand and playing with his hair with the other. As inexperienced as Severus was at intimacy, he managed to sneak both arms around Lucius's middle and bury his face into his chest. He smelled of peppermint and evergreen, Severus allowed the scent to wash over him like a tide. He was lost in it, floating out to open ocean without fear of drowning. A gentle touch was all Severus needed to feel like a human.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: A Delicate Proposition

The months that followed were the best that Severus had ever felt. The feeling was new to him, filling him with a strange sort of sensation that he could feel from the top of his head to the tips of his toes, swallowing his entire being. _"This is what love must be,"_ he thought to himself.

The two men soon found themselves in a pattern. During the day Severus would work on his potions, evenings were spent with Lucius in gentle education for decorum, proper dress, and a certain proclivity towards Severus's pride. Their nights were spent together in either Severus's or Lucius's bed.

Even Spink saw a difference in her master. He was a bit kinder to her and even allowed her a son, whom she vowed to name Dobby. Things were changing in Malfoy Manor, but even through the euphoria, Severus noticed a shift in the behavior of the world. In his far more frequent trips to Diagon Alley he noticed less and less witches and wizards out, even in the bright summer. When the Hogwarts session ended, and children were set back out into the world they didn't play outside, but rather their parents kept them safe and sound away from the growing danger.

Severus was no fool. He knew of the dark magic, he knew of he-who-shall-not-be-named, he knew that though Lucius himself didn't practice dark magic, he was no stranger to those that did. It wasn't that he didn't notice the dreaded threat, but all those people didn't care about him when he was in need, why should he care about them now? Why should he care about those _too weak_ to fend for themselves?

Lucius's company came more frequently now, and more often than not they asked to see Severus, and with his newfound reputation, he was compliant with meeting with them. They talked casually about curses and potions, and with his expansive knowledge of both, conversing with them became easier and easier.

One distinctly warm evening in August Severus was setting about his usual routine. He was finished for the day and had just set to work on bottling up a particular strong Draught of Living Death when Spink knocked softly on the door.

"Enter," Severus said lazily.

"M-mister S-Severus s-s-ir," Spink snuck in the room with a small bundle of blankets trailing closely behind her. Dobby never traveled far away from his mother, and had inherited her certain penchant for fear of wizards. "Ma-master Malfoy would l-like to see y-you, he's in the dining w-wing."

"Thank you Spink that will be all." Severus brushed passed the simpering elf and made his way to where his love waited for him. He didn't know what to expect when he arrived, just that he was summoned and that Lucius was not a patient man that did not like to be kept waiting. He kept his emotions shrouded so as not to reveal in exuberance to whatever awaited him.

When he reached the dining hall, the table was full of witches and wizards. Most he recognized as those for whom he made potions. Other's wore a long cloak, hiding their faces. Lucius, who usually sat at the head of the vast table, was instead seated at the first seat at the right side, what sat at the head was no man at all.

Severus recognized him immediately. His head was hooded, but the red eyes shone menacingly, his nose was completely gone, only slits remained in which to breath, and his lips curled back on his white flesh to reveal sharpened teeth. This was Lord Voldemort.

Severus didn't stumble. He couldn't. He knew what this meant for him and what it could mean for Lucius if it didn't go exactly as the Dark Lord intended. He cautiously spoke up, directing his attention to Lucius, who himself wore a grin of affection. "Lucius, if I were to have known about such guests I would have dressed for it. You'll forgive the attire I was just cleaning up."

Voldemort stared directly at him with his snake eyes. He didn't blink. He didn't turn away. To be under the Dark Lord's gaze for so long would have normally made Severus uncomfortable, but this was a challenge. He wanted to rise. He wanted to prove to Lucius and all sitting at this table that he belonged with them, not on Spinner's End, not to die forgotten and diseased. He looked directly at the Dark Lord while Lucius spoke, not bothering to listen to what he had to say, and not bothering to look at the giant snake making his way towards his feet.

"Don't mind Nagini, Severus," the Dark Lord said softly. "She will only attack you on my command."

The snake rose to meet Severus, to look him in the eye. Severus couldn't be sure but the snake seemed to be critiquing him. After a moment the snake slackened, and returned to her master and everyone in the room seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, Lucius most of all.

"It seems that Nagini has taken a liking to you Severus," the Dark Lord spoke again. "Please. Sit. Lucius has saved you a seat next to him.

All eyes were on Severus as he made his way to his seat. He strode over confidently, never taking his eyes off of the Dark Lord to read a reaction. Disappointment, happiness, anything. With all that he had heard of him, he wasn't sure what he was to expect. There was no sign of hatred in him and from what he had heard he half expected him to sacrifice a muggle born infant as a form of welcome. When he spoke his voice had almost a melodic tone. Surely this was not the man all others were so afraid of.

"I have heard a great deal about you Severus. Those at my table have always spoken highly of you."

Severus glanced quickly around to scan who was all seated and where they were. Bellatrix was seated exactly at his left and wore robes similar to the ones she wore at the first dinner they had together. Her sister was seated next to her, wearing again the pendent Severus had now recognized as the necklace of Salazar Slytherin. Severus assumed they were seated according to rank with all the richest pure-bloods seated close by and all those with other talents seated farther away.

"That is kind of them," Severus's voice was flat. He dared not show a hint of emotion now. The room was tense, and one slip, one wrong move and everything he had worked for could come crashing down.

The Dark Lord pretended to not hear him and continued on. "I'm wondering what you can do for me."

Severus thought for a moment. This was it. There could be no backtracking, no getting out. If he wanted this life, he would have to commit to it wholeheartedly. His thoughts went back to the graveyard for an instant before glancing at Lucius's reaction. The older boy nodded. Such a subtle movement was small enough that it went unnoticed by all others, but to Severus that diminutive gesture was enough to propel him forward and speak up. "What would the Dark Lord ask of me?"

The Dark Lord whispered something that Severus couldn't determine. Immediately Nagini, the snake coiled around her master dutifully and slithered up onto the table, slicing by both Black sisters as she went. She gained speed and opened her jaws wide, and her giant fangs came down on a man Severus knew as Walder Apcott, a shop owner that sold artifacts, both cursed and clean.

Severus could feel all the eyes in the room looking at him for a reaction. He didn't know the man well, but he bought supplies from him frequently and even cursed a necklace for him to put on display at Borgne and Burkes. Severus stared blankly at the snake devouring the man. While he knew him he knew enough not to weep for him, and more importantly, not in front of the Dark Lord.

"An opening has just become available in our ranks," The Dark Lord said and a ripple of laughter cascaded through the Death Eaters. Once it was quiet he continued, "there is a war Severus. There are those fighting to keep us at bay, that would kill their own magical blood to save _muggles_." There was an unmasked disgust in his voice at the word. "How long, Severus, have you waited for an opportunity to carry justice to those that have wronged you?"

"Too long I'm afraid," Lucius spoke up for him.

The Dark Lord raised what appeared to be an eyebrow. "Too long," he repeated and nodded in agreement. He stood and the room seemed to shrink in his greatness. His voice rang out, filling the entire hall with conviction. "Would you join us Severus, in putting Muggles in their rightful place? Would you join us in leading the wizarding world to its full and prosperous glory? Would you stand with us in conquering those that oppose us and chaperoning those that would join us in exaltation?"

"I will," Severus said without hesitation.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Power

Severus wore the Dark Mark on his forearm with pride, and often found himself gazing at it throughout the day. It was excruciating to receive, but the pain was worth the prize and once the pain had passed it was a night of revelry and delectation for both Severus and Lucius.

He reveled with his newfound flair. The Dark Lord had become so dependent on Severus's skilled hands he barely found himself making time for Lucius and had not returned to his mother's grave in months. She would have to wait, she had eternity in that place but Severus felt that rising through the ranks to rival only the wealthiest wizarding families would be the perfect way to honor her. Lucius was a little less than impressed. He hid it, but not well and when they were together Severus was very careful to not mention work or his relationship with the Dark Lord as Lucius was a jealous man and every time Severus had dealings with those in power, he could fell the bond between he and Lucius asunder.

By November of 1978 Severus had so many stores of potions he was beginning to run out of space in his small work area, but was hesitant to ask Lucius for any more room, even though Lucius had more than enough to spare. He was, after all, a guest in Lucius's home and Lucius had no problem reminding him of who's home it was.

Late one morning Severus was relaxing, alone, in one of the chairs he had conjured up to make his small closet of a room homier. He read a familiar article of a muggle family that had been murdered in their sleep and he wondered how the Daily Prophet could be so certain that it had been the work of Dark wizards; considering how the beastly creatures treated each other he wouldn't put it past them to massacre each other for fun.

Lucius opened his door without knocking, which startled Severus, and tossed his papers aside. Severus was about to complain but Lucius took him by the back of his neck and kissed him passionately. His annoyance softened immediately as he melted into Lucius's mouth. He tried to reach up and touch Lucius's face but as soon as skin contacted skin Lucius slammed his hand down, pinning it to the chair. He tried to pull his face away, but Lucius pushed farther into him. His passion soon turned to malice as a Sunday morning kiss turned into a power struggle.

With Severus's free hand he pushed Lucius away, and in turn Lucius backhanded him savagely. Both of them stared at each other with contempt as they tried to distinguish who had the upper hand. Severus could feel blood running down his angular chin and made a show of it to wipe it off with his sleeve. "Something wrong?" He hissed.

Lucius signed and pulled a white handkerchief out of his spotless black robes and handed it to Severus. "Sorry, I was caught up in the moment," he said dismissively. "You should know I can't always control my intensity when it comes to you." His voice was apologetic, but his eyes held a certain distinction for enmity. When Severus moved to give the bit of cloth back Lucius grabbed him by his wrist and pulled him up.

Severus was reluctant to face him. The slap itself didn't hurt much, had gotten worse from his father in one of his drunken tirades, it was the indignation that hurt. He thought he was finally rising above being the object of ridicule and couldn't hide his resentment. "Leave me-"

"Shhh," Lucius soothed and took Severus's thin face in his hands. "I didn't mean it. You know I didn't." Severus still avoided his gaze. "Don't be like that," Lucius chided. "It's unbecoming." Lucius's kissed him tenderly, and kept kissing him until Severus had no choice but to kiss back.

Their tongues danced together as Severus drew up his now more expert hands and wrapped them around Lucius's hips, slowly, as to savor every moment when he was his happy self. Lucius moved his hands away and started to remove Severus's clothing and Severus protested.

"Stop."

Lucius glanced at him with a puzzled look. "Why? Because of my outburst earlier?"

"Because I don't want to," Severus pushed away from him and turned around, but Lucius wasn't finished. He grabbed Severus by the shoulder and whirled him around violently. "I said stop. That wasn't a question." Real fury laced themselves in Severus's words as he twisted his arm to get away.

Lucius eyed him like a snake about to prey on his dinner. "You get the attention of the Dark Lord and all of a sudden you're above all this?" Lucius flung him backwards onto the bed, brought out his wand and hissed out "Incarcerous!" and invisible ropes held Severus wear he laid.

He twisted and struggled, but the spell held him tight. Lucius crawled on him slowly and brushed a bit of hair out of Severus's face. "I'm not going to do it. I could, just to let you know. I could do it _easily_ , who would believe you?" Lucius's eyes were dead and his words were spiteful. All of this because Severus was doing so well. "No one. You are nothing without me. Absolutely NOTHING! I made you who you are today and I could just as easily unmake you."

Severus turned his head away. He could feel tears prick the back of his eyelids and couldn't stand the thought of Lucius thinking he could win. As humiliated as this was, he couldn't let Lucius get the upper hand. "Do it!" Severus bellowed, "because if you do it will be the last time you ever do."

Lucius laughed, "are you threatening me? Oh, but you can't be serious can you?" He ran his hand through his thick silver hair and stood up straight. There was an amused smile playing on his lips as he doubled over in laughter, with Severus still seething on the bed. "You? Threaten me? You couldn't and you wouldn't." He stood up straight again and walked towards Severus with his wand outstretched. "You wouldn't want your dear old _mudblood_ friend Lily Evans to get caught up in all of this, now would you?"

Severus stopped struggling and felt his body go numb. Lily Evans was a name he had not heard in nearly a year. He had not forgotten his once best friend, but since their last falling out she demanded he leave her alone, and he respected her wishes. He hadn't thought his involvement in all of this would have affected her, and even though they were no longer friends he couldn't bear to have her know what all he had done and with whom he had done it. "Leave her alone." His voice was even and he immediately shut out his emotions and thoughts. The art of occlumency was a tenacious road to follow, but extremely necessary when subjecting oneself to constant greed and hostility of Death Eaters that would sell their own grandmother for a spot next to the Dark Lord.

Lucius knew he had won. He found the one thing he could hold over Severus's head and was not going to give it up easily. Severus found the eye contact unbearable, but he was strong willed enough that he wasn't going to bow out and let him have what he sought. If Lucius wanted him, he was going to have to fight.

Lucius laid a hand on Severus's groin and bit his lip painfully. Severus refused to react. "If this is how you want to do it, fine. I'll take you now," Lucius gripped his manhood with vigor, causing Severus to wince momentarily, "then I'll go over to Godri…" Lucius stopped in his tracks and backed away suddenly.

"Severus!" Lucius's eyes grew wide and mad. He looked wildly around the room taking in his surroundings and came to realize the picture that was painted beneath him. "Are you alright? Did I… did I hurt you?" Panic poured through his skin and his composure completely melted away. His words came through sobs as he once again pulled out his wand and gave it a quick wave. Severus was now free and rounded on Lucius.

"What are you playing at?" Severus demanded angrily. He had his wand out pointed directly at Lucius, however finally having the superiority over him didn't feel the way that it should. "Have you been drinking again?" Lucius was now sobbing openly, any fragment of composure the man had left was now seeping through him into a puddle of emotion.

"No, I promise," he sniffed. "Please, I'm sorry! I get these… thoughts. Terrible, terrible thoughts and I let them take over. Merlin's beard Severus. I'm so sorry, I love you!"

Severus stopped dead and lowered his wand. This was the first time in his life he had heard those words spoken to him. His anger softened and a sense of cool serenity passed over him. Love. Was that was this was? Is this what love is supposed to feel like? Severus wasn't sure, but he did know it was going to take a lot more than an apology for the vile things he said. "And why should I forgive you?"

Lucius was on his knees, kneeling before Severus with his head buried in his hands. "You shouldn't!" He exclaimed. "You should turn away from me before I hurt you again! I'm toxic! I'm, I'm EVIL."

Severus stowed his wand back into his robes and knelt down to where the broken man wept. It was a pathetic sight, but Severus couldn't bring himself to think little of him. It wasn't so long ago that Severus had felt himself slipping away into the abyss. What kind of a person would he be, Dark Wizard or otherwise, to leave a friend when clearly he was in desperate need of help. A friend that he loved. A friend that loved him. He scooped him up in inexperienced comfort and let him sob into his robes, stroking his hair with whatever amenity he could offer.

"You're not evil," he started. "You're just… misguided. I'm not out to usurp your position I'm just… trying… for a better life. Isn't that what you wanted when you told the Dark Lord about me?"

Lucius thought for a moment and seemed to cease his lament, "I wanted us to be together. My father doesn't look kindly upon our arrangement, and he doesn't even know what the pair of us get up to around here. He wouldn't understand." Severus offered him the handkerchief that Severus used to mop up the blood from where Lucius struck him. Lucius took it graciously and cleaned himself up the best that he could. "I wanted the Dark Lord to see you and meet you and understand all your talents. I believed that if he did I could cast out my father because together, _together_ Severus there is nothing we could not accomplish."

"And the Dark Lord said no." Severus had come to his own conclusion. He understood what this meant. The Dark Lord was a fickle man that chose his followers with caution. Abraxas Malfoy has been a long standing prominent figure for decades in the wizarding world, and for him to meet an unfortunate ending because of a case of puppy love would prove catastrophic for the Dark Lord's intentions. "Lucius you must not put blame on the Dark Lord. Your father's disposition comes from an urgency for an heir. Being a Malfoy you hold an obligation to carry on your family's name. You have no brothers or sisters, is it your wish that your family lie in ruin like the Prince's?"

He had never known his grandparents, but from what he heard of them they were as repugnant as they were hateful and cast out any family member that dared not marry only the purest of blood. They eventually died out with Severus's mother as she was the only child of a crazed lunatic.

Lucius stood and straightened his robes. His eyes were clear but he shook his head a bit as if to acquit his mind of the moments that transpired. "This is your decision then? This is how you want to leave things?"

"This is how we must part," he agreed. "You may always call on me, but because of my time spend here I know exactly what I mean to do." Severus drew out his wand and with a wave of his wand he left Malfoy Manor for good.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Prophecy

November 1980

Hogsmeade in November painted a bleak picture, nevertheless that is where the Dark Lord needed him so that is where he went two years previous when he left Malfoy Manor. He returned on occasion, but only when he needed to when the Dark Lord summoned him there, and once Lucius married Narcissa Black and had a child, their once friendly conversations turned to swift greetings. During the day it was easy to forget what they shared together, but at night, when the wind was cold, he still missed the affection and longed to be embraced.

One particularly cold night he found that he couldn't sleep, no matter how much he tossed and turned. He thought briefly about drinking a sleeping potion, but his stores were wiped clean of it and he couldn't be vexed to brew it so quickly. He decided that what he needed was a potion of a different variety, and headed downstairs to the Three Broomsticks from the flat that he rented out.

It was noisy and bothersome, too much so for Severus who just wanted a drink in the quiet. After an old drunk wizard spilled his drink all over Severus's robes, he made his way out into the town towards the Hog's Head. Far less a savory place than the Three Broomsticks, but it held less company and nobody would question why Severus was there alone.

The air was cold and Severus's breath came out in white puffs. There was no snow on the ground yet, just the chill that clung to the air. He always hated winter. Up until his time with Lucius it just reminded him of how lonely he truly was. Growing up in with such scarcity, he had visions of being nestled between his parents under a blanket, sipping hot cocoa, and listening to how much his parents loved each other. He still didn't know what love really meant, but he had it narrowed down to what it didn't mean. It didn't mean abuse or cruelty. It didn't mean that you use one another for personal gain, and it didn't mean that one gets shoved so easily aside.

Once inside the Hog's Head he took off his cloak and ordered a shot of fire whiskey. The bartender grunted a sign of greeting and said something mundane about the weather. Severus agreed and knocked back the drink, only to ask for another.

As the liquor made its way through Severus's body, he happened to see a familiar face out of the corner of his eye: Albus Dumbledore.

As peculiar a figure it was to have Albus Dumbledore frequent the Hog's Head, it must not have stuck out to the other few patrons. Not even the bar keep looked up to greet him. From what Severus remembered of his old headmaster he always wore silver robes and kind eyes shone over half-moon spectacles; on this night his robes were dark, and his eyes were concealed over a large wizards hat, but Severus was not mistaken. That was Albus Dumbledore and Albus Dumbledore did not mean to be followed.

Severus swallowed the second drink that was placed in front of him, but didn't know if he dared follow Dumbledore as he made his way inconspicuously up the narrow staircase to where the rooms were kept. The strong brewed whiskey started to work its way up to his head and seemed to make him a smidge braver. That, coupled with a nagging feeling that he should not lose sight of such a powerful wizard in suspicious surroundings, compelled Severus to abandon his barstool and creep up the stairs, as quietly as he could take them.

He found the room Dumbledore was in easily. There weren't many rooms being rented out, despite the cold, and there was a soft glow of light coming from the room at the end of the hall, and he heard a familiar voice. Severus couldn't be positive, but he could swear that it was a job interview.

The door was closed up tight, but a simple spell allowed Severus to hear and see all that was going on inside. Dumbledore was in there, there was no mistake, and he was questioning a young witch about a teaching position. The young girl was oddly dressed and stuck out like a sore thumb. She wore colorful scarves around her head and her robes were shabby and hung off her thin frame and her glasses seemed far too large for her face, making her eyes protuberant and disproportionate to the rest of her. Severus sincerely doubted Dumbledore was taking this into serious consideration and was about to release his spell, but then the girl shook violently and her voice changed drastically.

He listened carefully, drinking in every word that this woman spoke, eager to relay it to the Dark Lord. He could hear footsteps in the distance, but chose to ignore them as the woman spoke. _"Born to those who have thrice defied him…"_ Severus strained to hear, _"Born as the seventh month dies, and he will have powers the Dark Lord knows not."_

Severus was so intent to keep his spell working to hear the prophecy that it barely registered to him with the bar owner grabbed him by the neck and half shoved, have kicked him down the stairs. The spell broke and Severus's mind snapped back into his own with a dizzying sharpness and he was once again back in the bar with everyone staring directly back at him. The bar owner was shouting at him and waving his wand around wildly and instead of trying to come up with an explanation for his behavior, Severus turned on the spot and disapparated before the man could land any curses.

The Dark Lord, conveniently enough, was at Malfoy Manner, and Severus was impatient to see him. He pushed past the house elf, Dobby, and ran to the dining hall where he was sure to find his master.

"My Lord!" Severus shouted over the cluster of noise when he pulled open the double doors of the vast area. He knew he painted quite a sight; his eyes were mad, his greasy hair was flopped about his face and he was out of breath, but he knew he had to be heard. "My Lord!" He repeated through the throng of people surrounding the table.

When the Dark Lord spoke the entire room went quiet and all eyes were now darting between the two of them with nervous uncertainty. Lucius quietly moved to hide himself from sight so as not to be embarrassed by such an outburst, but neither the Dark Lord nor Severus paid any attention to the others that occupied the space. "Severus, is there something you wish to speak with me about?"

"I've overheard a prophecy!" He shouted without thinking of ears this information touched. "There is a boy, born at the end of July, whose parents defied you, that will try to kill you!"

Shock resonated through the cavern, echoing off the walls and rebounding onto the Dark Lord, who scowled through his red snake eyes. "This news is most troubling Severus. From whom did you hear this information?"

"From Dumbledore himself." The audience gasped out loud, though Severus didn't stop. "I overheard a conversation he was having with a seer. I didn't hear the whole thing but he has powers that you do not."

There was an outcry of protest. "The Dark Lord is all knowing!" Some exclaimed. "There is no power the Dark Lord does not have!" Shouted others. Bellatrix seemed particularly vexed by this news and rose above all others and called to have Severus's dark mark removed for treason.

The Dark Lord simply raised his hand and everyone had once again hushed to a silence. "I believe you Severus," was all he said before the hall once again erupted in commotion.

"Find the child!" "Kill the child!" "Kill the parents!" "Kill them all!" Was all Severus could make out amongst the clamor. He made his way up to where the Dark Lord stood with Nagini.

The Dark Lord whispered something to Bellatrix, who stood at his side waiting for his command, and she turned on the spot and disapparated, then turned his attention onto Severus. His words were meant to be comforting, congratulatory, Severus was sure, but as the Dark Lord spoke them, his voice was hallowed and unemotional. "You will be rewarded, Severus. This is a great deed you have done for me." His eyes bore into Severus, and he knew his mind was being searched. He left himself open to it, exposed to the Dark Lord's will.

Severus's head was spinning. "What is it you mean to do, my lord?"

"With as much admiration I hold for you," his voice was cold, "I cannot yet divulge my plans. Go and wait for me Severus. When Bellatrix has returned I will summon you and few others back." He spoke now to the entire group of people. "With this new information I must bid you all elsewhere. A strategy will need to be set in place and I will need all of you to play a part. Go now."

Within the minute the room was completely empty save for Severus, the Dark Lord, and the Malfoy's. Severus made his way out into the foyer and waited for his assignment, his head still reeling from all that had transpired. The prophecy referred to a child, but the Dark Lord couldn't really be contemplating killing someone so young. His laws were quite clear on the matter that children be spared, no matter how much the parents resisted. Children could be molded to believe differently, to be raised to hate muggles. Their parents, not so much, but the children would be kept safe. Severus was sure that whatever future was in store for this child, surely he would be allowed to live.

"You've certainly been a busy boy Severus." Out of the blue he heard Lucius. He turned on the spot just as Narcissa kissed him on the cheek and whispered a word of goodnight. Lucius seemed to have aged quite a bit while Severus was away. His hair, which always held a predilection for manageable carelessness, was slicked back out of his eyes, and he seemed to have inherited his father's cane.

"Not quite as busy as you've been," Severus returned, with a slight bite to his tone. "How old is Draco now? A few months?"

"You chose to leave!" Lucius spat. "What was I supposed to do? I needed a wife and child. You said it yourself."

"The day you forced yourself on me and threatened to harm the only person who cared about me? It's astounding that I didn't stick around. Does Narcissa know about your little… outbursts?" Severus's voice was heavy with irony. This was the first time since he left that he and Lucius spoke openly about what happened. Severus was determined to not hold back.

Lucius looked like someone had struck him. "What do you mean 'the only person' that cared about you?" He asked, genuinely confounded. "I cared about you!"

Severus made a noise in his throat that he hoped sounded like mocking. "Do you mean to say that all of your tantrums were for my own good?"

Lucius glowered at him. "I mean to say that when you were in that graveyard you were close to death. And I, I reached out to you. I didn't see your precious Lily doing that."

"Would you stop mentioning her?" Severus was growing bored at Lucius's games. "With my news tonight the Dark Lord with surely turn to me from now on for counsel. What could he gain from you besides money? You have no measurable talent in the dark arts and, as you said yourself, you can't even make potions. Go back to your coin purse and leave the real work to those that have earned their position."

"I loved you!" Lucius roared and snapped his wand out of his staff and aimed straight at Severus, who moved to defend himself.

"Odd way of showing it, isn't it?" Severus squared his shoulders and prepared himself for an attack, but as angry as Lucius was, he refused to move against him and lowered his wand.

"I'm sorry," he started, but Severus cut him off.

"I've heard this before and I'm not interested. I'm leaving now. When the Dark Lord has decided his course of action, I'll return. But it won't be for you." Severus turned to leave and although he heard something spiteful from Lucius, he forbade himself to look at him.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Consequences

Severus was wandering about the garden when his mark burned, summoning him back to where the Dark Lord plotted against the prophecy Severus heard. He rushed back, impatient to know what he had decided.

The Dark Lord was no longer in the dining hall, but in a smaller, more comfortable drawing room. Curtains hung from the wall like tapestries and the furniture was as heavy and antique as it was appeasing to the eye. A small table in the center of the room held a few glasses and a bottle of elf wine. Only the finest for such an occasion. Severus remembered all the times he and Lucius had curled up in this cozy space with the fire crackling and the heat washing over the pair of them. The room held a longing for Severus that made him almost regret pushing Lucius so far away, then the Dark Lord spoke and pulled him back into the present.

"Bellatrix tells me that there are very few who fit the description you have given me Severus. In fact, there are only two." The Dark Lord seemed out of place in such an incandescent accommodation. He was seated in one of the green velvet chairs in front of the fireplace. He wasn't facing Severus, but kept his eyes on the blazing fire in front of him. The wine in the middle of the room was corked, but the wax seal at the mouth of the bottle had been opened. Severus knew enough about the company he kept to not touch it, but when the Dark Lord turned to offer it to him he could not help but take a drink.

It was sweet on his tongue, dry, with a bit of an earthy taste. He set down his glass gently. "I suppose Lucius has already spoken with you?"

The Dark Lord nodded gravely. "I know which boy I must go after. The boy's name is Harry Potter. I believe you and his mother were friends in school."

Severus's stomach launched itself into his throat. "My Lord!" he choked out. "Please, please do not hurt her!"

The Dark Lord's face seemed unfazed by his outburst. "It's not her that I am after. If she stands aside and allows me to take the boy there will be no harm to come to her."

Severus struggled to breathe. "Please sir, there must be another way!"

"You said it yourself Severus, the boy must be destroyed."

"No! No, no, no, no…" Severus lost his regulated self-control and was sure he sounded like a mad man. This couldn't be happening. Not to Lily. Not because of him. "You can't be serious! He is a child! You yourself said that they were not to be harmed! How can you go back on that?" He couldn't stop what he was saying, and at once he realized what was in that bottle of lavish elf wine.

"I hardly need to explain my actions to you," the Dark Lord's voice was sneering and Severus could feel the relationship and trust he built over the past few years crumbling. "You are dismissed from my presence. You may be able to return if you can control your discomposure."

Severus turned on the spot and Disapparated from Malfoy Manor, determined to never return, to never trust another person. He popped into the cold, dark cemetery and collapsed on his mother's grave. He tore the sleeve of his robe on his left arm and there the dark mark lay. At one time it was a status symbol, but now it stared back at him, mocking him. He took out his wand and aimed it at the blemish, but no matter what spell he used, it remained. He yelled, from the depths of his soul he yelled, clutching his now injured arm, until his voice was hoarse and his body shook. He wasn't sure if it was from the events that took place, or from the cold, or from anguish, but the only thing he could bring himself to do was shiver and cradle his arm as his blood soaked the headstone beneath him.

What could he do? Every plan seemed as impossible as the next. There was no way he could keep Lily safe, not by himself. The Dark Lord made up his mind and was determined to go through with it. Silently he cursed Lucius, but found himself unable to place the blame on him.

"I did this," he said to the empty night air. "This is my fault. I should have never trusted them. I should have never trusted _him._ " He sat back and stared at the ground, wishing it would give him answers.

Eileen Snape

Born 23-2-1933

Died 2-5-1978

The headstone gave no rebuttal, but he noticed something different, something that wasn't there when he last visited. A few feet to his right there was another stone engraved with the same melancholy attitude.

Tobias Snape

Born 6-7-1929

Died 6-4-1980

His father was dead. He only knew his father to be one of his greatest aggressors, but an odd feeling struck him. It wasn't the same pang of depression when he learned of the death of his mother. Severus still remembered that day clearly in his mind. He was brought up to the Headmaster's office, and sat down across from Albus Dumbledore with Slughorn's hand resting sympathetically on Severus's shoulder. The feeling that his father's death brought wasn't woefulness, or even malcontent. He felt pity. Pity for a man who only knew how to hate and bully. He didn't want to end up that way.

Severus composed himself and stood up straight with a brand new surge of determination. It was late in the night, so late he doubted if a message would reach the person intended in time, but there was no time to waste. The Dark Lord had a plan and now Severus did as well. He would have to face the consequences of his actions, and pay dearly for them. He would have to repent for everything, and face an artillery of fingers pointed at his back, and possibly a painful death. This he would endure, for her safety. He would go to the man who now surely hunted him. He would go to Albus Dumbledore.


End file.
